Ms. Jenna Mackenzie's Blog

June 9, 2024 (5 days After)  Dear Dexter, I miss you. We all miss you. The terrible part is, the world has continued on in your absence, something about that feels wrong. It feels wrong to smile, to have fun because you aren't here anymore. I'd like to imagine you're running again, and that you're seeing clearly. I picture you rolling around in soft green grass, feeling no pain.  What have I been up to? Not too much, just ugly crying at least 3 times a day, painting the kitchen (finally! LOL), sewing (of course), and trying to keep up with Coach & Ivy. I bought new socks, Dexter, that's my excitement in life at the moment. I know it sounds ridiculous but you know what they always say, its the little things in life. I guess that's true. Thank God for socks.  We love you. We'll carry you with us in our hearts.  Rest easy Baby Bear. Take care of Papa for me.  Love, Mommy

1/9/2022----Cancer Update It has been since December 14/15 since I gave a true cancer update. I don't necessarily feel like anyone has been “waiting” for my update but I think I have sat on my new information long enough. Funny enough, making cancer update posts actually alleviates me having to answer tons of individual questions from those in my day-to-day life so, do not worry about me doing this for you. I promise it is mostly selfish LOL 😂😅. If you’re new around here, I’ll spare you the long version of the story. But, these are the “highlights” of my journey thus far. June 2020:   I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma Cancer June 2020. After MONTHS of horrible back pain and so so so soooooo many scans and appointments after an MRI. I got my results in a portal update. I took them to the ER demanding the CT scans the results said were urgently needed and here we are. July 2020:   Met my Oncologist Did a biopsy to confirm what kind of cancer it was. Apparently, you cann...

What am I fighting for? -----

  I know this is a question LITERALLY no one has asked... BUT I am going to tell you anyway! Something I did not know about cancer is the way it makes you feel about time. Of course, I suspected it would make me feel like I am running out of time (which it does) but it does more than that. It gives me this feeling the second wake up, like I absolutely cannot stay in bed a single second longer because if I do you just forfeited those precious moments I'm already running low on. It sounds like a good thing, right??? You're probably thinking, "Man, I wish I felt like that!!" It is a good thing, sort of. It makes me feel like I MUST get up and be productive for as long as I physically/mentally can during the day but there lies the problem. I am not all that physically/mentally capable. Chemo has been kicking my butt. I did my 10th round of treatment last Tuesday and still do not feel very well and I am writing this for you nearly a week later (Sunday morning).  So, how do...

 Hello! I know you probably are not handling the news of your recent diagnosis all that well. Trust me, it is not easy to deal with. Especially, not at first. I remember the rage. So much blind rage. It was crippling. I hated the world and the fact that the universe decided to single me out. I was mad at everyone my age or older that didn't have cancer. And I was really mad about the fact that some people would NEVER have cancer. None of those feelings helped me, they only made me feel worse.  Why am I writing this? I am writing you this letter today to let you in on some tips and tricks I have cultivated in my time with this monstrous disease. These tips and tricks are obviously not a solution to the problem but they help me cope. If you are new here to my blog or social media, you don't know that THIS, what I am writing right now, has been my way of coping with all of this. I have decided to be more of myself. More honest. More open. Living life MORE. I hope this advice help...

Cancer Update Q: How was chemo #8? Did you ring the final chemo bell? How does it feel to be done? A: I feel pretty pitiful. I don't feel good at all. For reference, I just vomited and it is a Wednesday... days after chemo. No, I didn't ring the bell. And I don't know that I am done with chemo. Actually, I feel very done with chemo but my doctor says that chemo may not be done with me... ---- My doctor says we have to do another PET scan before we can be certain about whether or not I am actually done with chemotherapy. I apparently have 2 significant risk factors. The fact that my tumors were considered to be "bulky" when I was first diagnosed. This means my tumors were very large when they were discovered. My sedimentation rate in my blood was elevated when my cancer was first discovered. NOTE: I am not a doctor or medical professional so take my expertise with a grain of salt. This blood count is an indication of inflammation. When extremely elevated, can be a ...

I wrote what is below on 10/28/2020 BEFORE I actually created this website and my first post titled " Hello & Welcome! I'm Jenna :) " I had been keeping a digital journal/diary of sorts for about a month. I wrote a few entries but, this one is the one that sparked me wanting to share my thoughts. While I was writing I wasn't sure I'd ever share it but this platform and all of you give me the strength to be vulnerable and share my true self. Thank you :,) This is just me thinking out loud.  I find strength in saying I don’t know. I don’t want to know all the answers. I want to be the best self I can be ALL the time, learning from my mistakes and growing the whole time. I gain strength from others. We are all social creatures, meant to uplift and bring joy to others. We are not supposed to fear being ourselves. We are supposed to go through life being unapologetically ourselves and knowing that those we love will accept us and help us grow while others will con...

Hello & Welcome!   Like the title at the top says, I am Jenna. Let me just start by saying, I am so glad you're here! The fact that you have taken the time out of your day to come here to my brand new blog and read the things I have to say about LIFE, means the world to me. So, thank YOU! It doesn't feel right to not include a picture of me up here so, here is the most recent *decent* picture of me that I have!😅😅😅   Note: This picture was taken right after I voted in the 2020 Election! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----------------------