An Open Letter to New Cancer Patients

 Hello!

I know you probably are not handling the news of your recent diagnosis all that well. Trust me, it is not easy to deal with. Especially, not at first.

I remember the rage. So much blind rage. It was crippling. I hated the world and the fact that the universe decided to single me out. I was mad at everyone my age or older that didn't have cancer. And I was really mad about the fact that some people would NEVER have cancer.

None of those feelings helped me, they only made me feel worse. 

Why am I writing this?

I am writing you this letter today to let you in on some tips and tricks I have cultivated in my time with this monstrous disease. These tips and tricks are obviously not a solution to the problem but they help me cope. If you are new here to my blog or social media, you don't know that THIS, what I am writing right now, has been my way of coping with all of this. I have decided to be more of myself. More honest. More open. Living life MORE.

I hope this advice helps you. I hope you reach out to me, no matter how far in the future you're reading this.

The Advice

#1 Reach out! Reach out to those people in your life that you miss. I can almost guarantee that you won't regret it. 

#2 Put yourself out there. Push yourself to be the most you, you can be.

#3 Forget about "what if..." Look, the worst has already happened. You cannot waste your life worrying about possible bad things to come. Sure, it could still happen but are you going to let that ruin your here and now? 

#4 Take the picture! Don't step out of frame when the camera comes out!!!! It doesn't matter how you look. Trust me, you're going to want that picture. You'll wish you had more photos with that one loved one. Smiling and showing them how much you love them, AND it is documented! What could be better?

#5 Don't put your dreams on hold. CHASE THEM!! Go out there and try. Do what you want. Don't wait! 

#6 Go out of your way for others, all the time. Make dinner, get them a cup of coffee ready in the morning, text them you love them with no subtext. Do things selflessly. Make other people happy, you'll feel so much more fulfilled. 

#7 Cherish the little things. New pens. Random stuffed toy. That new flavor of potato chips. It is all amazing. Don't take it for granted. Get in the habit of being grateful.

#8 Be kind to yourself. This is hard. Probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. It isn't impossible BUT sometimes, it is going to feel like it is. Take a break. Don't keep pushing. Your body and your mind are tired. Don't over do to the point that you can't do anymore, even if you want to. ***This is coming from the queen of pushing herself too far. 

#9 Be honest. With yourself, with your doctor, with your family, and EVERYONE else. When someone asks you how your day is going, actually tell them. They will get a kick out of it and you will get to feel connected to another person. Being honest with yourself ALSO means not denying help. If bottling up your feelings isn't working anymore or if constantly being a crying mess isn't working anymore. Take a minute and accept that, THEN get some professional support. Your doctor and your treatment facility has resources for things like this. They are MORE THAN willing to do what it takes to get you healthy. That doesn't begin and end with the cancer, it includes your beautiful mind. 

#10 Find your own way to cope, that works. What do I do? Well, I write. I "vlog" on my Facebook and Instagram stories. I knit. I sew. I quilt. I call my family. I text my friends. I rest. I work. 

Q: Do all of these things happen all at once? 

A: NOOOOOO! 

Q: Do all of these things work all the time? 

A: NOOOOO! 

Q: Is that okay? 

A: YES! 

I wake up every day grateful for this disease. It helped me see that my life is mine and I only get 1. I don't want to have lived it without ever noticing. 

Be gentle with yourself. This is not easy but it is doable. I am here if you need me.